Giving Support
Supporting Someone Who Has Experienced Sexual Abuse or Sexual Violence
If someone has trusted you enough to share their experience, your response matters more than you may realize.
You do not need to have all the answers. What matters most is your presence and your willingness to listen.
Tips To Keep In Mind...
01.
What You Can Do
Listen Without Interrupting
Allow them to share at their own pace. Avoid rushing them or trying to “fix” the situation immediately.
Believe Them. One of the most powerful things you can say is:
“I believe you.”
Avoid Blame
Do not ask questions like:
- “Why didn’t you say no?”
- “Why were you there?”
- Are you sure it happened?
These can increase shame and silence.
Respect Their Choices
Healing is personal. Allow them to decide:
- Whether to report
- Whether to seek therapy
- What steps to take next
Support them without pressure.
02.
What to Avoid
- Minimizing their experience
- Comparing their story to others
- Forcing forgiveness or spiritual solutions
- Sharing their story without permission
Statements like “just pray about it” or “be strong” may come from a good place, but can feel dismissive of their pain and experience.
03.
Faith and Support
If you share a faith background, remember:
- God’s heart is for healing, and blame has no place in healing
- Survivors should never be made to feel responsible for what happened
- Prayer can be offered gently, not imposed
Sometimes, the most Christ-like response is simply compassion and presence.
04.
Encourage Support
You can gently encourage them to seek help, but do not force it. You might say:
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- “I can help you find support when you’re ready.”
05.
A Gentle Reminder
You cannot ‘heal for them’, but your support can make a meaningful difference.
Your kindness, patience, belief and presence can help create a safe space for their healing to begin.